Okay so before I get into this this is entirely my opinion. You do you and I’ll do me. I’m not here to tell you how to balance family and work—this is just how I do it.
I got asked the other day, ‘How do you balance work, learning and spending time with your family?’.
Simple answer is, you don’t.
But like the therapist told the Ikea worker having an existential crisis—let’s unpack that.
Continuously Learning Without Realising
Let me take you back, many many years ago, I’m a University student, Blockbuster is at its peak, I wore baggies, had long hair and multiple piercings. What was cooler than cool? Me. Obviously.
I loved drinking, coding, and drinking. Here’s a picture of me with… short hair (I actually did have long hair most of the time throughout Uni though).
If I wasn’t hitting the dance floor, I was in my dorm room, coding stuff—listening to Papa Roach, Linkin Park or Metallica. I was a bit cocky, as in I’d skip lectures because I knew my shit anyway (well, I thought I did), I coasted the boring stuff but nailed the super interesting stuff.
After University, back home, life carried on much the same—except now, I’d work, code, and occasionally see my friends (maybe). But the point is, I was always dedicating time to learning without even realising it.
Then I had kids. And then, everything changed.
Parenthood
Before they’re born, it’s abstract, you know you’re going to be a father but it doesn’t feel real. I remember seeing them for the first time. You’re handed this tiny, living human being that you’re responsible for.
It’s exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.
The first year is tough, I had to adapt, I couldn’t keep up the same level of commitment to my craft (I think ‘craft’ sounds a bit ball-baggy but I can’t think of a better word).
At first, I tried sneaking in an hour here and there, and for a while, it worked. Sometimes my kids would come over and ask me to play; sometimes I’d say yes, sometimes no (shame on me by the way).
Then one day, I stopped trying to juggle both. Their little faces were just too cute to say no to. I started dominating them at Street Fighter, pwning them in Mario Kart (obviously, I can’t let them win!), having tea parties with Moana and Elsa, or racing around with Lightning McQueen.
It. Was. Epic.
Family > CodingThere’s no competition.
Coding Isn’t Worth It
Sounds weird coming from a coding person, right? But yeah, coding is not worth it, like at all.
My kids are the best. My daughter is creative, she loves drawing and is crazy talented. Here’s a picture of her with yoghurt all over her face.
My son is a little more like me—expect he’s a lot smarter, he’s already coded a few games and he’s only just turned 10. What you can’t see in this picture is the Nintendo Switch and Mario Brothers Bros. Deluxe.
My phone is loaded with memories, and, whether I like it or not, I’ve become that dad who always says, "I remember when you were this big," while holding up my hand for reference.
They’re a bit older now so I do have tonnes of time back these days but if they ever do challenge me to a round of Mario Kart, work gets dropped immediately.
And yeah, I never go easy on them. Sweep the leg, no mercy.
Apparently 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12. Bit of an eye opener, right?
I’d give anything for them to be little again for a day. Facts.
Bottom line? Who cares about coding, really? Go spend time with your kids, the coding stuff can wait (and you’ll catch up again, don’t worry), your kids growing up can’t.